


Language Barriers

by Dizplicity



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Bonding, Broken PAK (Invader Zim), Foreign Language, Gen, Humor, ZADF, language barriers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:01:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24845719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dizplicity/pseuds/Dizplicity
Summary: When Zim's universal translator stops working, he has no choice but to learn how to speak English. Dib offers to help, but for a price.
Relationships: Dib & Zim (Invader Zim)
Comments: 174
Kudos: 655





	1. Chapter 1

Zim gasped for breath as he burst out through the doors of the skool building, the sudden movement causing a nearby flock of birds to hastily fly away from the scene. All thoughts of today’s lecture completely forgotten, he jumped over the stairs and began sprinting away from what followed, only vaguely registering the scream of a girl he pushed aside to get through the thick crowd of people that loitered near the skool’s entrance. 

“Leave me alone, stink beast! Can’t you see that I’m just a normal human child?! Normal!” The green boy shouted over his shoulder as he pushed yet another unfortunate human out of the way. 

Behind him the doors once again burst open, this time revealing a much more human-looking child in their frame. “Yeah, right!” Dib replied, wasting no time with pleasantries as he too pushed past the crowd of skool children. “Give up, Zim! After today everyone will know what you really are!” 

To Zim’s annoyance, Dib was being particularly persistent today. The two hadn’t had a chase like this in quite some time, yet it felt natural. Horribly annoying and pointless, sure, but still natural, nonetheless. 

As Zim felt the ground beneath him change from pavement to grass, he realized he didn’t even remember how this chase had started in the first place. An insult, maybe? No, that wasn’t right. Something about Dib’s latest invention? Yeah, that was it! The stupid earth boy had once again created a contraption that he was sure would put a stop to Zim’s ingenious plans to rule the earth, or something.

However, caught up in thoughts, Zim forgot to pay attention to where he was running. Stopping suddenly, he cursed himself as he realized that he had run straight into a dead end. With nothing else left to do, he sighed and turned around to face the human. 

Dib quickly caught up to him, coming to a halt as well. The human placed his hands on his knees, taking a few seconds to catch his breath before glaring menacingly at his enemy. 

“There’s no where to run now, _Zim_.” He said between deep breaths. 

Zim narrowed his eyes and prepared for a fight. “You really think that _toy_ could hurt the mighty ZIM??” He snarled, internally laughing at how Dib’s inferior biology required so much air after such a short run. “Think again, smeet! I’ve invented better gadgets on accide-”

“ _YAAAAAGHHH_ ” Dib screamed, like a battle cry, wasting no time as he leaped towards his enemy, cutting off his boasting and causing him to yelp. In a reflective attempt to protect himself, Zim moved his arms out, causing Dib to push him back violently against a tree. 

As his PAK crashed against the hard bark, time seemed to slow. His eyes widened and his mouth opened in a silent scream as, for a split second, his vision went dark and all he could hear was ringing. 

When he opened his eyes, Dib laid a few feet away from him, blood dripping from a nasty looking wound on his arm. He looked up at Zim with a mix of confusion, fear, and anger in his eyes. 

Confused, Zim looked down at himself. Despite being pushed back, he was standing and his PAK legs were splayed out protectively in front of him. He noticed vaguely a drop of blood on the tip of one of them. He hadn’t called for his extra legs. His PAK must have reacted automatically after sustaining damage. A security protocol to protect himself. 

“Th-That will teach you to mess with a superior race, human!” He spat out after regaining his composure. “Remember this day! Next time you won’t be so lucky!” 

Dib stared up at him, a confused expression on his face. Whatever, it didn’t matter. Zim retracted his PAK legs and ran past him, back to the town. 

\---

Walking out of the elevator and into his lab, Zim ripped off his wig and contacts. He was frustrated at the day’s events and upset that he had allowed the Dib to corner him like that. 

“Computer! Run an analysis on the damage sustained to my PAK.” He commanded. Although doubtful that there would be any serious issues, he figured it best to make sure. 

After an exasperated sigh and a less than enthusiastic “yes, sir” sounded from the speakers, a pink light shone up and down his figure as he was scanned. 

“Damage sustained is minimal. Minor denting to the surface of the PAK detected. No likely interior damage sustained. Recommendations: minor maintenance to remove dent.” The computer said flatly, a bored tone to its voice. 

Zim gripped his antenna in frustration and growled. “ARGG that horrible DIB. How DARE he inconvenience me- ME- like this once again. Oh, he will PAY for this. How he will pay.”

“Who... are you talking to?” The computer questioned.

“SILENCE.” Zim screamed as he disconnected his PAK from his spine to work out the dent. 

In the corner of his eye the oh so familiar clock began ticking. ‘What an inconvenience,’ he thought as he began to work. One always had to be so quick and thorough when working on the PAK. 

\---

The next day began as usual, the mindless chatter of the earth children nothing but a buzz at the back of his mind as Zim sat slouched over his desk, absentmindedly playing with a pencil as he waited for the day’s classes to start. Usually he’d be bit more excited to start a new day of learning more about the human weaknesses, but as it stood, he had started formulating a new evil plan last night and he was pretty anxious to get back to work on that. However, he knew he should not draw attention to himself by missing more days of school, so here he sat, simply hoping that the day would pass quickly. 

It seemed that Dib had other plans however, as he walked into the class and immediately looked towards Zim like an animal spotting their prey. Not one to defy other’s expectations, he walked straight up to Zim’s desk and slammed his hand down on it. Hard. 

Sighing and mentally preparing for the upcoming argument, Zim looked up at Dib with an angry expression that most would falter away from. Dib was not most people, however, so he simply smirked and opened his mouth to speak. 

However, Zim’s angry expression quickly turned to one of pure confusion as the words that came from Dib’s stinking human mouth revealed themselves to be ones of pure incomprehensible gibberish. 

“Huh??” Zim questioned, genuinely not understanding what Dib was saying to him. 

Dib’s face scrunched up in annoyance, probably upset at having to repeat himself. Zim had proven himself to have horrible hearing at times, forcing Dib to repeat himself more than he’d like, but come on! He was literally standing right next to him.

However, Zim’s confusion only grew greater as Dib repeated the gibberish, this time at a louder and more annoyed volume. 

“Uhhhh... OH NO. I am suddenly aware I have an adult-onset banana allergy and I need to leave immediately.” Zim quickly came up with the first excuse he could think of from his list of previously prepared excuses as he rose from his seat and raced towards the door. 

Unfortunately, his escape attempt was short lived as Ms. Bitter’s intimidating frame, accompanied by a spooky black mist, appeared in the door Zim had been aiming to exit from. She looked down at him, one eyebrow raised, and opened her mouth to speak. 

Zim’s fears were confirmed as her mouth words were said in the exact same gibberish as the Dib’s were. Eyes wide in anxious terror, Zim opened his mouth to speak, thought better of it, and quickly scurried back to his seat. Shaking hands folded neatly on top of his desk, he tried his best to mask his fear and appear metaphorically invisible to the rest of the class and their incomprehensible language. However, he didn’t miss the way Dib’s eyes bore through his nervously sweating frame from the other side of the room.


	2. Chapter 2

Dib sighed dramatically as he walked towards the skool grounds, still angry about what had happened between him and Zim the day before. Who did that stupid lizard think he was? He came to _HIS_ planet, enrolled in _HIS_ skool, threatened _HIS_ home, and somehow he is supposed to just leave Zim alone? Ridiculous! If that alien thought for even a second that Dib was going to back down just because of a little scratch on his arm, then he had another thing coming. 

Absentmindedly, he placed his hand over the wound. It wasn’t bad enough to need stitches, but it wasn’t exactly small either. He had to wrap it up in a bandage to get it to stop bleeding last night and it was still stinging to this moment. 

It wasn’t like this was the first time he and Zim had gotten a little physical during one of their fights. In fact, they’d chased and hit each other more times than he could count! However, he wasn’t sure he could remember a time either of them had drawn blood. It had never gotten to that point before. It was uncharted territory. And honestly, Dib would be lying if he said he wasn’t at least a little bit scared when it had happened. Zim’s weird extra legs were super sharp. Thinking about it now, if he wanted to, Zim could have just stabbed him through the heart and been done with it. In fact, what was stopping him from doing just that? Dib shivered at the thought. 

He shook his head as he entered the skool building, trying to physically push those thoughts from head. He had bigger things to worry about right now. He could debate Zim’s morality later. Now, he had to prepare for the argument that would inevitably take place inside the classroom. 

Entering the door, his head immediately snapped to where he knew Zim would be seated, waiting for him. Walking over to the alien, who seemed to be totally spacing out, he slammed his hand on his desk and tried his very best to look intimidating. 

He smirked as Zim looked up at him, an already annoyed and angry expression gracing his alien features. 

“I can’t believe you actually decided to show up today.” Dib spat. “Based on the way you ran away yesterday I was sure you’d be half way back to Irk by now!” 

He expected to be met with an equally as petty comeback, maybe even be called a stupid name like pig smelly, but what he didn’t expect was look of pure confusion on the alien’s face. 

“Huh??” Zim questioned, squinting his eyes like he thought it might help him hear better. 

Dibs face scrunched up in annoyance. “I _said_ I can’t believe you actually decided to show up today. What, are you actually too scared to come up with a proper response? And what was it you said as you ran away yesterday with your tail between your legs? It sounded like a completely different language and I want to know what it was.” 

Unfortunately, repeating himself didn’t seem to do the trick as Zim’s face morphed from one of confusion to pure terror. The alien quickly rose to his feet and began to speak. 

Now it was Dib’s turn to be confused, as what came from Zim’s mouth was not English. Far from it, in fact. It was like no language Dib had ever heard before, strange hisses and clicks forcing their way in between syllables. It was almost amazing! However, Dib barely had the time to connect the dots and realize that what he was hearing was the Irken language before Zim pushed past him and made his way towards the door. 

Fortunately for Dib, Zim’s escape attempt was short lived as Ms. Bitters' threatening frame, accompanied by an ominous wave of black smoke, filled the doorway. 

“Going somewhere, _Zim_?” She said with one eyebrow raised, spitting out his name like it physically harmed her to say it. 

Zim stared up at her, obviously nervous, opened his mouth to speak, closed it, and hurriedly returned to his seat, defeated. 

Dib watched this scene from his desk, which he had run to as soon as he saw Miss Bitters in the doorway. Now, Zim and his terror filled eyes already forgotten, she hovered towards her desk to begin her lecture. 

Dib, however, kept his eyes glued to the Irken, mind filled with theories and speculations about what was going on, why it was happening, and whether or not he could use it to his advantage. 

___

30 minutes into class and the alien hadn’t muttered a single word. This was definitely strange, considering the fact that Zim was usually quite talkative in class, often raising his hand and shouting out answers before Ms. Bitters even had the chance to ask the question. No doubt this quirk was a result of him wanting to be praised by Ms. Bitters and seen as the top student. Unfortunately for him, It mostly just made him look annoying. 

Today though, he was actually letting the other kids raise their hands and answer questions! He wasn’t even commenting ‘I knew that already’ or ‘this subject is stupid’ like he did when they were covering a subject he knew nothing about. 

In fact, he didn’t even look like he was listening, and seemed to be growing more and more uncomfortable every passing second. Everything about this was strange and Dib’s theory was almost confirmed. He just needed a _little_ more proof. 

Turning his attention away from Zim and back to the lecture, Dib started listening just in time to register that Ms. Bitters was asking the class another question. 

Dib quickly raised his hand. “Ms. Bitters! I think Zim knows the answer!” He said, flashing a devious smile towards the nervous invader. 

Ms. Bitters narrowed her eyes at Dib, no doubt already aware that this had something to do with their strange rivalry. A bead of sweat formed on Dib’s brow as he nervously wondered if Ms. Bitters would see through his plan. However she simply sighed and turned towards the one in question. 

“Fine. Zim! What is the answer?” She snarled, pointing in Zim’s direction. 

Zim, startled at hearing his name, looked up at Ms. bitters, then to Dib who had a sinister look on his face. The alien scowled. Of course Dib would know something was off. 

Looking back towards Ms. Bitters, Zim quickly tried to think of what to do. He knew that if he spoke he would be found out immediately and sent to some lab where horrible human scientists would run limitless experiments on him. “Ummm...uhhh...” he stalled, having no idea what Ms. Bitters wanted from him. 

“Quickly, Zim. I don’t have all day.” She warned. 

Coming to the conclusion that Ms. Bitters must be asking some sort of question, he took a chance, hoping for the best. He shook his head from side to side in the universal signal for 'no' 

Time seemed to slow, seconds turning to minutes, as Ms. Bitters stared at him, face void of expression. Both Zim and Dib sat on the edge of their seats, desperate to see what happened next. 

“Correct. Very good Zim.” Ms. Bitters said after what seemed like an eternity. “There is **NO** meaning to life. We were all sent here for no reason, destined to live out our days waiting for a meaningless death.”

Not knowing exactly what happened, but sensing that Ms. Bitters' attention was off of him and that he was out of immediate danger, Zim flashed Dib an evil smirk of victory, to which Dib replied to by sticking out his tongue. This was going to be a long day. 

\---

“And that’s why you should NEVER leave your house after midnight.” 

As soon as Ms. Bitters uttered the last word of her usual doom-filled lecture, the bell rang for lunch right on cue. The other children got up and ran excitedly to the cafeteria, but Dib stayed back, hoping to catch Zim on his way out. Unfortunately, when Dib looked over, the invader’s desk was already empty. 

“Shoot!” Dib exclaimed, quickly getting up and running to catch up to the other. However, bursting out of the classroom and looking down the hall, he was only quick enough to see Zim’s back as he ran out through the main doors. He cursed under his breath. There was no way he could get away with cutting skool. His dad was real nosy about their attendance and grades, after all. 

Oh, well. Zim may have won this round, but something was definitely wrong with him and Dib was going to find out what it was. He had his ideas, yeah, but he needed to investigate more to be 100% sure. A devious smile spread across his face as he decided he was just going to have to stop by Zim’s base tonight to collect more data.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg guys I am blown away by the amount of response this fic has gotten! I was expecting like 20 kudos at most, but over 100??? that's insane! Thank you so much for your support! It really motivates me to write to the best of my ability ^.^
> 
> Also, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I hope seeing it from Dib's point of view cleared up any confusion there was about what happened to Zim's translation device. I was originally planning to make this fic 4 chapters long, but based on the amount of response this has gotten and the amount of ideas I have and was given, I'm thinking it might end up being a bit longer! But no promises! We'll seeeee
> 
> From now on I think I am going to update this fic every Friday. So keep an eye out for an update in a week!


	3. Chapter 3

The mechanical sound of sparks bouncing off metal resounded through the dark and oppressive atmosphere of the lab, where Zim found himself working tirelessly on his PAK. He huffed, frustrated, as he pulled up his metal safety mask and wiped a bead of sweat off his brow with his forearm. He had been working on this stupid thing for hours, yet he still couldn’t find what was causing this mess. To make matters worse, because of Irken codependency on the PAK, he could only work on it in intervals of less than ten minutes before he had to reattach it to himself to charge back up. At this particular moment, his clock was already down to three minutes. Needless to say, he was exhausted. 

Just as he was about to lower his mask and get back to work, his computer made a coughing noise to get his attention. “Master, someone is at the door.” It said, blankly. 

Too tired and frustrated to wonder why his computer was coughing, he growled and snapped his head towards Gir. The robot in question was sitting in a nearby corner, playing with a worn stuffed animal that he most likely stole from a human child at the park.

“Gir!” He snapped, causing the small robot to quickly look up at him with wide cyan eyes. “Go answer the door. I’m busy.” 

“Yes! My master!” Gir replied as he quickly stood and saluted, his previously cyan eyes flashing a deep red. The moment didn’t last long, however. After saying his piece, Gir’s eyes reverted to their usual cyan and he ran, giggling, towards the elevator. 

“And whoever it is, don’t let them in! I don’t have time to deal with the humans right now!” Zim screamed after him, hoping that for once his robot could do as he asked. 

Turning his attention back towards his life clock, he noticed that it was now already down to two minutes. Cursing under his breath at the distraction, he lowered his mask and returned to work. He knew he shouldn’t push his luck, but he was almost there, he could feel it! Just a bit more and he would find what exactly had been pushed out of place. 

“Uhhhhhh...” came the computer’s hesitant voice from the speaker.

Zim angrily growled and slammed his fist on the table. “What is it this time?!” He yelled in an exasperated voice, looking up towards the ceiling where he imagined the computer must be. 

“Gir has... invited the human inside.” 

“What?!”

Quickly throwing down his tools and closing the openings of the PAK, Zim turned around and willed the device to reattach to his body. He shivered at the sensation of two familiar wires sliding out from his spine in search of the other two identical ones that came from the PAK. When he felt the click that signaled a successful reattachment, he couldn’t help but flinch slightly. However, as the wires retracted back into his spine and the PAK snapped into place, he was filled with a warm rejuvenating energy that made him feel more like himself. The life clock disappeared from his vision. 

As he turned back towards the elevator and made his way upstairs, he briefly debated on whether or not he should bring his disguise. However, he decided against it. He was pretty sure he already knew who was upstairs. 

\---

Once the elevator clicked into place and the lid of the cleverly disguised kitchen trash can popped open, Zim could hear the all too familiar sound of television blaring from the living room. He stumbled a bit as he pulled himself up and out of the trash can, landing on the kitchen floor and, already angry, began walking towards the living room. As expected, Gir and Dib sat on the couch, absentmindedly watching a horrible human programming and licking what appeared to be orange flavored popsicles. 

“Dib! What are you doing in my base?!” Zim screamed. 

Dib, who seemed to have ironically forgotten his purpose for coming here in the first place, startled and looked towards the kitchen at Zim. He frowned, looking frustrated, and threw his hands in the air as he yelled something back. 

“Ughhh this is _useless_.” Zim groaned. “I can’t understand your inferior human language.” 

“He says he can’t understand yoo!” Gir chimed in randomly from the couch, his popsicle already swallowed whole. 

Zim’s eyes widened. Gir had just translated what he had said. 

“Of course!” He exclaimed. “My universal translator may be malfunctioning, but Gir’s is working at full capacity! Gir, you can essentially speak both Irken and Human right now!”

Despite his revelation, both Dib and Gir stared at him with blank expressions on their faces. Zim smacked his hand to his forehead in frustration, taking a second to sigh, before saying, “Gir, tell the Dib what I just said.” 

“Okie dokie!” Gir said and smiled, previous confusion forgotten. “Master says he broken, but I work good!” 

Dib turned his head from Zim, to Gir, and back to Zim again. Despite understanding Gir, he seemed equally as confused as before, if not more. 

“No, Gir! Tell him that when functioning at full capacity my PAK has the ability to translate alien languages into my native, superior, language and vise versa. That’s how we’ve had the ability to communicate thus far. But now it’s broken and it’s HIS stinking fault.” Zim recapped with his arms crossed. “And he will pay.” He added after a moment’s consideration. 

“Uhhh.. master says... He used to speak all the languages, but now he forgot em, and it’s all your fault... and he loooooves you!”

“GIR! I did not say that!”

As Zim and Gir began to argue about what Zim had actually said, Dib put his hand to his chin in thought. Despite Gir’s awful translation, he could kind of put together what had happened. At least, the one thing he knew for certain was that Zim couldn’t speak English right now or even understand it. He probably never had, not really. 

Dib wondered why he had never thought about this before. What, did he just think Zim and all the other Irkens he has had contact with just so happened to speak the same language as him? He knew Irkens had a written language, he’s seen it many times, but he never even thought about their spoken one. 

Mentally smacking himself for being such an idiot, he turned his attention back towards the two arguing aliens. Zim’s plan to use Gir as a translator was a predictably awful one, but maybe Dib could come up with something slightly better. 

“Hang on!” He said, causing Zim and Gir to look towards him as he pulled his phone out of his pocket and began typing. 

After a couple seconds, he got up and shoved the phone screen towards Zim’s face. Zim flinched away at first, no doubt thinking Dib was up to his usual alien thwarting activities. However, as Zim realized there were Irken characters displayed on screen, his eyes widened and he grabbed for the phone. 

It read, in Irken writing, _‘This can you read?’_

“Eh?!” Zim sputtered, confused. “Why does this human device display Irken?! Your planet has yet to come into contact with the Irken empire, does it not?!” 

Frustrated, Dib pulled back his phone, typed quickly, then shoved it back into Zim’s face. It read, _‘I cannot you understand, idiot! Enter it!!’_

Zim stared at the phone, then at Dib in apprehension. Deciding that the piece of technology was not likely to harm him, he reached out and carefully took the phone. Staring back at him from the screen was an Irken keyboard. And awful, messed up, archaic one, of course, but it was Irken nonetheless. He typed out something similar to what he had just asked, his unfamiliarity with the keyboard causing him to type quite slowly. 

Once Zim had finished, Dib took the phone back, took a second to read what was on the screen, and smiled widely. “Yes! It worked!” He voiced, beaming. Then, looking back at the screen, he took a minute to type out his answer, click the translate button, and show it to Zim. 

The screen displayed, in Irken, _‘When at first I found the TAK boat, everything was written in your stupid language. I had to decipher it. Then I conveniently made the phone to translate for future use. It is smart, right? :P’_

“You DARE decipher the Irken language for your petty human usage?! Why you-“ Zim was cut off as the phone was once again angrily shoved into his face.

_‘It is the last time. Use! That! Phone! Write!!!’_ It read. 

Zim huffed and angrily snatched the phone. Having had the time to calm down from his outburst, he wrote, _‘Although I disapprove of your purpose, I must admit this is quite useful. Give Zim this technology.’_

Upon reading the message, Dib frowned. He had so much power over Zim right now, but how should he use it? He could just refuse to help and leave him to his own devices. That way, if Zim showed up to skool and people heard him speaking his weird alien language, they’d have to believe Dib! But no, that probably wouldn’t work because Zim would just stay home and nobody would notice or care that he was gone. 

Then, Dib had a thought. If he could find a way to get Zim to go to skool despite his current ‘condition’, he would definitely be able to out him as the alien monster he was. Though, in order to trick Zim he would have to make it look like there was something to gain from this other than a point towards the good place. With this thought in mind, he grinned and began typing. 

_‘Okay, Zim. I’ll help you learn English. But with one condition.’_

_‘Curse you!!!!!!!’_ Zim typed back. Then, after a second of consideration, he added, _‘What is this condition?’_

Yes! Zim fell for it. Dib mentally fist pumped at the success. However, he hadn’t thought this far ahead. What condition was he going to make? Quickly typing out the first thing he could think to bargain for, he handed the phone back to Zim. 

It read, _’You have to teach me Irken in return. It will be useful for when I have to um defeat your race and stuff.’_

Zim scoffed at the screen. _’HA. A measly human such as yourself could never grasp the complexities of the Irken language. You make me laugh.’_ he typed. Then, as if to prove his point, he started to cackle. 

Dib huffed, wrote _’OK then. Bye. I guess your tall leaders wouldn’t be impressed by you learning the language of the enemy anyway. Have fun failing your mission I guess.’_ and turned to walk away.

Upon reading the message, Zim frowned, biting his lower lip in thought. “Wait!” He called, just before Dib reached the door, causing the boy to pause and turn around. “Gir, tell the Dib that I agree to his terms.”

“Master says he thinks you’re pretty!!”

“Gir!”

Dib smiled mischievously, having inferred what Zim was actually trying to convey. Quickly typing his response, he showed the Irken his phone screen, then happily walked out the door. 

_’First lesson tomorrow.’_ It read.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1,886 Words! It's my longest chapter yet haha. I'm sorry if this chapter seems a bit rushed at the end, but it's because I was kind of struggling to get it out on time. So please don't hesitate to let me know if you see any typos or errors that need fixing! 
> 
> I've also changed the number of total chapters from 4 to a question mark because I kinda changed the layout of this fic half way through once I got more ideas. I hope you are still enjoying it and look forward to the coming chapters!! The language learning and headcanons come next!! I also really hope the typing and google translate format wasn't too hard to read lol. If it was, let me know and I can try to fix it. I'm always happy to hear feedback ^.^
> 
> Fun fact: I put what I wanted Dib to say into google translate, translated it from English to Japanese then back to English, and used what came out (or close to what came out). I wanted to show how spotty Dib's translation was and how similar it was to google translate. I hope it showed.


	4. Chapter 4

“Where are you going?”

Despite being half way out the door, Dib turned around upon hearing the voice of his sister. His sudden movement caused the large stack of papers he was carrying to rustle.

“Oh! Gaz!” He exclaimed, happily surprised. “You’ll never guess! So, like, apparently Zim has been using a translation device this whole time! But get this- it broke! And I guess I broke it? So, that’s a point for Earth! But, anyway, I told him I would-“

“Wait,” Gaz said, cutting Dib off with a wave of her hand. “I forgot I don’t care.”

Dib’s excited smile immediately fell off his face, replaced by an annoyed and familiar looking frown. “Alright, well, I’ll be back before dinner.” He said, turning back around and walking out the door. He faintly registered a grunt of approval from Gaz as he made his way out.

Luckily, Dib wasn’t about to let Gaz’s usual uncaring attitude get him down. It was a beautiful mid-spring Saturday, barely a cloud in the sky, and he was about to put his newest plan to expose Zim into action! Plus, this ingenious, although admittedly hastily thrown together plan was going to be the one to put an end to Zim, he was sure of it!

He had spent most of last night making lessons and flash cards with simple English phrases on them. The thing was, Dib wasn’t actually planning to teach Zim English. Not any useful English, anyway. Why would he, Earth’s sworn protector, give such an obvious advantage to the alien menace that was trying to take over his home planet? That would be like handing a gun to the person who was planning to mug him, or something along those lines. No, Dib wasn’t that stupid. In actuality, Dib was planning to use Zim’s disadvantage to his advantage, and teach him wrong and horrible stuff. Stuff that was sure to get him discovered as an alien before he even knew what hit him.

There was no way this could fail! After all, Zim was at a major disadvantage. So much so, that he was willing to accept help from his number one enemy! That would be his last mistake, Dib thought, as he approached Zim’s base.

Shifting his stack of papers into the fold of his left arm, he knocked on the door with his right and took a step back. After waiting only a few seconds, Dib heard the sound of the lock clicking, and the door swung open to reveal an already pissed off looking Zim, out of disguise.

“Dib.” The alien said shortly as a greeting.

“Uh... hi.” Dib replied, knowing the other probably couldn’t understand him. Zim merely squinted his eyes in suspicion in return. Well, this was awkward.

Pulling his phone out of his pocket, Dib quickly typed with one hand, _‘Well are you going to let me in or what?’_ , pushed the translate button, and showed it to Zim.

Zim took a moment to look at the screen, then back at the boy holding it. He didn’t need his words to say ‘I don’t trust you’, his expression was doing the job just fine. For a second, Dib even thought Zim wasn’t going to let him in after all, but then the alien huffed and took a step back, giving Dib enough room to walk past him and into the house.

As if the awkwardness of that greeting wasn’t already enough, being invited willingly into Zim’s house, by _Zim_ himself, definitely took the cake. After Dib stepped into the living room, Zim shut the door behind him and simply continued to stare at him as if he was expecting him to sneak a bomb into his couch cushions. Which, well, to be fair, wasn’t too far off from the things he’d done in the past. However, before Dib could even attempt to break the awkward silence with a comment on the weather, he suddenly heard a loud high pitched scream from behind him.

“MARYYYY!!” Gir screamed, and suddenly Dib, along with all his papers, was on the ground.

“Ah! What the- Gir!“ Dib sputtered, trying desperately to push the green dog suited robot off his midsection. “I can’t- breath!”

“I missed you so much, Mary! Why’d yew leave me like ‘dat?!” He cried into Dib’s shirt, getting him not only sticky from whatever substance he was covered with, but now also wet from tears. Robot tears.

Deciding that he’d seen enough of the amusing situation before him, Zim sighed and yelled something at Gir, causing the robot to immediately jump off of Dib and salute, eyes flashing red.

“Yes, my master!” He said. Then, eyes turning back to blue, he added sweetly, “I’m gunna make you boys some waffles!” and ran off towards the kitchen to presumably do just that.

“Jeez.” Dib said as he sat up and brushed himself off. “How do you deal with him everyday?”

Zim, who was still standing near the door with his arms crossed, simply raised an eyebrow at the question. Dib guessed he was thinking something along the lines of ‘how long is it going to take for it to sink into your big head that I CANT UNDERSTAND YOU.’ or something.

“Yeah, okay, never mind. Not worth it.” He sighed as he picked up his scattered papers.

Once he had finished gathering them all, he stood back up and looked towards Zim. He was already beginning to feel the awkwardness creep back into the situation. Luckily, before it was able to get to that, Zim swiftly walked over to Dib and swiped the boy’s phone from his hand.

_‘Teach Zim. Now.’_ He wrote.

“Okay, okay.” Dib voiced, moving over to the couch to sit down.

Zim followed and sat on the other side, as far away from Dib as the small couch would allow. Then he turned towards the boy to watch as he shuffled through his obnoxiously large stack of papers. He must have found the one he was looking for, because he pulled it out of the stack and set it on the cushion between them. Then, he set the rest of the papers down on the floor.

_‘Okay.’_ Dib typed. _‘I figured we should start with the alphabet and pronunciation of letters since it’s probably really different from Irken.’_

After giving Zim enough time to read the translated message, he set his phone down beside him and turned his attention towards the paper between them. He pointed to the first letter on the paper, which he wrote in both capital and lowercase.

“Uh, this one is pronounced ‘Ay’.” He said. Then, a bit louder, he repeated the letter’s name to show Zim what he was meant to learn. “A.”

Noticing that Dib had paused in his lesson, Zim looked up at the boy skeptically. Staring back at him was the expression of someone who was waiting for something. Was he expecting him to repeat the sound back? Even smeets learned faster than this. Nevertheless, he decided to indulge the human. The lack of communication skills no doubt a factor in his compliance.

“A.” Zim said, flatly.

“Yes! That’s it!” Dib replied, nodding his head enthusiastically. Wait, why was he getting so excited about this? This wasn’t supposed to be fun, it was supposed to be a serious effort to save the Earth! Putting back on a serious face, he moved onto the next letter.

\---

By the time their lesson reached the 30 minute mark, saying Zim was frustrated would be an under statement. He was more than frustrated, he was fuming! If he hadn’t already been convinced, now he was _sure?_ that Human was a stupid and overly complex language that he shouldn’t have to learn.

For starters, why are there two versions of every letter?! The big ones that the Dib called ‘capital’ looked completely different from the small ones and should by no means represent the same letter. Not only that, but why do so many Human letters sound so similar?! There was absolutely no difference between the K sound and the G sound, Zim was sure of it. However, that small disagreement had caused a long and unfulfilling argument between the two.

Then, If that wasn’t already enough, Zim had realized that sometimes the same letters made different noises! For example, the first letter he had learned, A, could be pronounced as ay or aw or even uh. Not to mention that when their stupid T letter was combined with an H, it made the most horrific sound Zim had ever heard. He could not repeat that noise to save his life, and when he tried it only came out as an S.

While Zim sat festering in his rage filled thoughts, Dib continued his lesson. He was either unaware of the other’s growing headache, or simply impartial towards it.

As he began to speak on a letter he called W, Zim decided he had had enough. Barely restraining himself from screaming and ripping up that horrible alphabet paper, he grabbed Dib’s phone and angrily began to type.

_‘This is stupid!!!’_ He typed, in Irken. _‘This is taking too long and I still can’t speak your inferior language!!! Useless!!!’_

After taking the phone back from the pouting Irken and translating the text to English, Dib huffed. _‘You’re not going to learn an entire language in a day, Zim.’_ He typed. _‘But this **is** getting pretty boring. Here, in the meantime I can teach you some simple and helpful English phrases’_

Zim looked at the phone, then crossed his arms and looked back at Dib with a huff.

Taking the silence as compliance, Dib leaned down and went through his stack of papers until he found the ones he was looking for. He couldn’t help but smirk as he read the phrases he had made for Zim. This was where his plan would truly begin.

He held up the first paper, which read, ‘I AM AN ALIEN’ in large black letters. Although Dib had just taught Zim how to read the letters, the alien would have no idea what the meaning of this sentence was until Dib decided to tell him. Plus, if Dib just so happened to give him the wrong meaning of the sentence, he would never know. Until he was captured for saying it, that is. Bringing his thoughts back to the present, Dib tapped the sentence on the paper a couple times to convey that he wanted the other to attempt to read it out loud.

Zim seemed to get the point and squinted at the short sentence, trying to piece the pronunciation together in his head. “I.... am... an... al- ali-... allen???” He said.

Dib couldn’t stop the muffled chuckled that came out of his mouth, earning a serious death glare from the invader. He had to be careful, but it was so hard not to laugh when the other had no idea what he was saying! Focusing on his task, he tried his best to return to his poker face before the other caught onto his plan. “I am an alien.” He said to help Zim get the pronunciation right.

“I am an alien.” Zim repeated. His pronunciation was mostly correct with the exception of his weird accent. They could work on that later though.

“Yes!” Dib nodded, pulling out his phone to translate. _‘It means ‘hello, how are you?’ Say it when you see someone for the first time.’_ He typed, translating it to Irken for the other to read.

Zim nodded, suspecting nothing. Meanwhile, Dib was practically losing it inside his head. He couldn’t believe it worked!

Taking out the next card, Dib pointed to the phrase ‘THIS IS A DISGUISE’ and waited for Zim to try to repeat it.

“S- T- Sis is a dis- disg- UGH!” He gave up, throwing his hands in the air in frustration and shouting something in Irken.

Dib snickered quietly before saying, “This is a disguise. DIS-GUISE.”

However, just as Zim was about to calm down from his rage and try again, Gir burst in through the kitchen door, holding a huge plate of waffles, which were practically stacked up to the ceiling. “Break time!!!” He screamed, running over and setting the dripping plate unceremoniously on the couch between the two.

Zim growled and began to scream at Gir, most likely upset at being interrupted before he could correct his first attempt at the sentence. Gir, however, didn’t seem to care. He kept smiling obliviously and turned to look curiously at the paper Dib was holding.

“What ‘dis say?! I wanna learn!!” Gir said, snatching the papers straight out of Dib’s hands.

“Hey- wait!” Dib protested, but the robot had already ran to the other side of the room and was excitedly flipping through the papers.

“I am an alien!” He read, then threw the paper into the air, looking at the next one. “I am in a disguise! Dissect me! I want to kill all humans!” He continued, going through the cards one by one.

Dib’s eyes widened as he realized what the robot was doing to his plan. Because of Gir’s universal translator, both he and Zim could understand Gir perfectly. Zim was going to find out the true meaning of what was written on those papers!

Jumping off the couch, Dib ran over to the robot and began wrestling the papers from his tiny hands. “Hey! Stop it! We’re busy!” He yelled. How was he supposed to have known that this stupid robot could read?!

Dib fell to the floor with a grunt as Gir let go of the papers. “Hehehe! What I win?!” The robot asked happily.

Dib, sensing that he was in trouble, but not yet willing to give up, scrambled to get up and turned towards Zim. “Wow, your robot sure is stupid! He can’t even read!” He said with a nervous laugh, forgetting among all the commotion that Zim couldn’t understand him anyway.

As Dib calmed down and actually took a second to look at Zim, his eyes widened and he gulped. The Irken hadn’t moved from his spot on the couch, but he definitely understood the implications of what Gir had said. His hands, which were resting on his legs, were gripped tightly into shaking fists, and his two antenna were pressed completely flat against his skull. Most frightening of all, his face was down turned, but Dib could still see his bright pink eyes, glaring at him with a mix of betrayal and murderous intent.

Through clenched teeth Zim said a few words quietly in Irken.

“W-what?” Dib stuttered, feeling a cold chill go down his spine.

Then, as if something snapped, Zim quickly lifted his head up towards him, antenna flinging forward threateningly as he jumped up from the couch. He began to scream at Dib loudly in Irken, his foreign words coming out in endless streams.

“Zim! C-calm down! The phone!” Dib cried desperately, taking his phone out of his pocket and attempting to hand it to Zim.

Zim snatched the phone from Dib’s hand, violently taking it for himself. However, instead of using it with the intent to translate his words, he threw the device at the wall and it broke to pieces on impact.

Dib gulped.

Then, practically boiling with rage, Zim screamed two Irken words and pointed towards the door.

“Zim-“

" " Zim screamed the two words again, and suddenly his PAK legs sprang out from his back, each end pointed threateningly at Dib’s head.

Dib’s heart stopped as he remembered what had happened the last time Zim took out his extra legs. He turned and ran out and away from Zim’s base as fast as he could, broken phone and papers forgotten.

So much for his amazing plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the delay in this chapter! I hope the longer than usual chapter makes up for it though. However, since I was late to upload this I won't be able to post another chapter until next week. I hope you can forgive me!! ^.^;
> 
> As always, please let me know what you think of this chapter! Feel free to leave criticisms and suggestions as well. Did you like how I wrote the English lesson? Or do you feel it could have been handled better? Let me know!! <3


	5. Chapter 5

‘The classroom sure is quiet.’ Dib thought as he sat slumped over his desk, barely registering the boring lecture coming from Ms. Bitters at the front of the room. 

On a normal day, that would be that last thing he would be thinking in this classroom. However, this strange thought had been resonating through his mind quite frequently lately, and the unfamiliar feeling only became stronger as the skool days continued to pass without Zim in his usual seat by the door. 

By all means, the fact that Zim had stopped showing up to skool should have been making Dib happy. Ecstatic, even! Not showing up to skool meant that he was still struggling with his translator, which in turn meant that he wasn’t a threat to the Earth right now! That was great news for Dib, right?

However, Dib couldn’t help but feel as if something was wrong. A tugging feeling at his gut that forced him to keep thinking about the alien as if his life depended on it. A feeling that, no matter how much he wanted to, wouldn’t allow him to rid his mind of the other, and focus on his own life. He just couldn’t. 

Was it guilt? Was what he did to Zim that day wrong? 

No, it couldn’t be! In fact, there was no way it was guilt because he didn’t do anything wrong in the first place! He had only been trying to protect his home planet. Anyone in his position would do the same. Yet, as he attempted to convince himself of this, the look in Zim’s eyes from that day resurfaced in his mind. It was the look of someone who had been betrayed, taken advantage of. The hero of a story wasn’t supposed to be looked at like that. 

Mentally pushing the image of those eyes from his mind, he turned to look at Zim’s empty seat. 

No, it wasn’t guilt, he decided. There was no way he would feel guilty for something he did to Zim, his worst enemy. But if it wasn’t guilt, then what was it? And why was Zim still missing from skool even after a week? In the past, Zim never struggled to invent a new and insane way to solve his problems. Going by that logic, he definitely should have been able to find a way to work around this by now. 

Wait a second... That was it! Zim wasn’t missing from skool because of his stupid translation problems, he was missing because he was up to something! Something new and incredibly evil, no doubt. 

Of course! How did Dib not realize it sooner? His mind wouldn’t let him forget about Zim because he was supposed to put a stop to whatever Zim was planning, not because he was guilty. Yeah, that was it! He would have to head over to Zim’s base after skool to check and see what he was up to. He needed to put a stop to Zim and whatever evil revenge plan he had come up with after fixing his translator. The Earth was depending on him!

* * *

Meanwhile, Zim closed his eyes and sighed deeply as he stood in front of the large communication screen in the depths of his base. He had been hoping to get his universal translator fixed before reporting in to The Tallest, but as it was, it had already been over a week and he still wasn’t seeing the progress he had hoped for in regards to his actual PAK. He was sure The Tallest were worried sick about him by now, especially given the fact that he usually called them nearly every day. Until this whole situation started, that is. 

However, he would leave them waiting no longer! Taking a deep breath and squaring his shoulders confidently, he pressed the button that would begin the call. Then, after merely a few seconds of waiting, the connection went through and the screen jumped to life. 

“Zim? What do you want?” Red said less than enthusiastically, as he glanced up at the screen from where he was sitting. 

“My Tallest!” Zim greeted with a salute. “What a surprise!” 

“Uh, you called us though.” Purple pointed out. 

“Heh, yes... Yes, I did.”

The Tallest exchanged a look that clearly said they weren’t in the mood for this. 

“Uh, well if that’s all, we’ll be-“

“No, wait!” Zim shouted, waving his hands up at the screen as if attempting to catch their attention. “I have a, uh... a question of sorts.” He said sheepishly. He wasn’t sure he wanted to tell The Tallest about his situation in fear that they would see it as a weakness, but at the same time he needed some answers. 

“If you want a new death ray, the answer is no, Zim.” Red said with a sigh. Purple snickered in the background. 

“Oh, no, nothing like that, my Tallest.” Zim replied with a wave of his hand. “Actually, I was, um, just wondering... If, hypothetically speaking, someone’s universal translator were to, let’s say... malfunction? What would that hypothetical person do?” 

Both Red and Purple raised an eyebrow in suspicion, and Zim could feel a drop of sweat begin to form on his forehead as he faltered under their almighty gazes. 

“What are you saying, Zim? Is there something you want to tell us?” Purple said skeptically. 

“Of _course_ not! It’s a hypothetical!” He assured. 

Red sighed, exasperated. “Then _hypothetically_ how should we know? How would that even happen?” 

“Yeah!” Purple added. “Their PAK would have to be pretty faulty get an error like that.” 

Zim’s eyes widened and he sucked in a quick gasp of air. “Uh, I-“

Then, as if right on time, the doorbell rang. 

“I have to go!” Zim shouted, slamming his fist down hard on the ‘end call’ button. The screen quickly snapped to black, bringing The Tallest and their questioning gazes with it. Zim’s heart beat loudly in his chest. 

“Sir? There’s someone at the door.”

Physically pulling his attention away from the screen where The Tallest just stood, Zim willed his heart to stop beating so quickly and turned his gaze towards the computer’s voice. “G-give me visual then!” He shouted. 

The computer silently complied, and the screen once again popped to life. Unsurprisingly, standing outside his front door was the exact cause of all his problems. It was none other than Dib Membrane himself. 

Zim’s eyes narrowed at the screen. “He _dare_ come back here after what he pulled the last time?” He asked to no one in particular, grinding his teeth. “The insolence!” 

Zim watched as the boy outside rang the doorbell again and knocked a few times for good measure. He yelled something in his inferior stupid language and took a step back to wait for a response. The fact that Zim still couldn’t understand him only infuriated him more. 

“Ughhh- Computer! Fire up the gnomes. I want this child _gone_!“ He growled. 

“Fine.” The computer sighed in response, and Zim watched as the gnome’s eyes lit up on the screen. 

Dib yelped as his arm was grazed by a laser, alerting him to the activation of the gnomes. He looked from side to side as the lawn ornaments began to scoot closer towards him, but he wasn’t willing to give up just yet. As a last ditch attempt to get Zim to answer his calls, he banged on the door ruthlessly and called out the other’s name. Sadly for him, the gnomes only drew in closer, and another laser hit him squarely on the shoulder. 

Grunting and placing a hand over his wound, he yelled one more thing at the door before making a break for it. He was off the screen in seconds. 

However, the hasty retreat did nothing to satisfy Zim’s rage as he continued to stare at the screen, hands balled into shaking fists at the mere thought of what had happened that day. He had put his trust into that boy, and for what? For it to be chewed up and spit back at him like it meant nothing, that’s what! Not to mention, this whole ordeal was Dib’s fault in the first place! Looking back, he should have expected such an unreliable and shifty human such as the Dib to fall through on his deal, but for some reason he had allowed himself to let his guard down that day. Perhaps he had been too desperate and made a hasty decision as a result. 

Zim put his hand to his head in frustration. Thinking of the Dib was giving him a headache, so he let out a sigh and attempted to calm himself. 

What happened had already happened. He would just have to never allow himself to be fooled like that again. Plus, the Dib's betrayal wasn't entirely a bad thing, because now he was going to get to have a little fun with his plan for revenge. In fact, it was about time he got around to putting that plan into action.

* * *

Cupping his right shoulder in his hand, Dib grumbled to himself as he walked up the entrance way to his house. Dammit, he hated those gnomes. And Zim could rot in his base for all he cared. He didn’t know why he even went there in the first place when the stupid alien was probably just still sulking about his broken tech. 

He turned the door knob and swung open the door, immediately noticing a burst of cold air from the air conditioning inside. “I’m home!” He called out to no one in particular. 

“Hey.” Gaz responded from the couch. She was laying with her head on the armrest, attention completely absorbed by her Game Slave.

Dib was about to pass her and head up to his room when something on the TV caught his attention. He stopped and began to listen. 

“Breaking News!” Said the anchorman. “A large bomb-like weapon, that may very well just be a large bomb, has suddenly appeared in the center of town!” 

“What?!” Dib gaped, jaw dropping open in disbelief. The photo on the TV showed a huge purple bomb, about the size of a house, with the signature Irken logo painted in black on its front. “This can’t be happening.” 

“Oh, yes it can! And- this just in- the bomb seems to be repeating a phrase in an unknown language! If anybody knows what the bomb might be trying to tell us, please let us know! Your help may be the key to saving our city!”

Ignoring how the anchorman somehow responded to him, Dib clenched his fist. “I can’t believe it! This has to be Zim!”

“Yeah? What gave it away?” Gaz asked sarcastically. “The obvious Irken insignia, or the fact that it’s a giant bomb in the center of town?” 

“This isn’t time for jokes, Gaz! This is serious!” Dib snapped. “I’m going back to Zim’s place. The fate of our home rests on my shoulders!” 

“Whatever.” Gaz sighed. 

Wasting no time, Dib turned on his heel and ran right back out the door. He didn’t know what Zim was planning, but he didn’t have time to sit here and speculate. That bomb could go off at any second!

* * *

“Zim! Open up! What are you planning?!” Dib yelled as he banged frantically on Zim’s front door. He was tired and panting from running all the way back here for the second time that day, but he wouldn’t let that stop him from saving the town! 

Just as Dib’s fist was about to make contact with the door again, he was interrupted when it swung violently open. Unlike the last time, Zim decided to show his face. He stood in the doorframe with an evil grin that radiated confidence. Also, Dib quickly noted that in the alien’s hand was a small rectangular device, about the size of an MP3 player. There were buttons on its side and a round speaker on the front. It almost looked like it could be a mini radio. 

Pressing one of the buttons and holding the device up to his lips, Zim said something in Irken into the speaker. Then, he clicked another of the buttons and the device began to play back what he said. “Hello, Dib.” It translated to English in a robotic voice. “What brings you here today?” 

Next, clicking yet another button and holding the device out to Dib like a microphone, Zim waited, looking at the other smugly. 

So, Zim _has_ been busy then, Dib thought. Well, with all his alien technology it’s no surprise that he was able to make a translator even better than Dib’s. He would never admit that to Zim though. 

Narrowing his eyes at the other, Dib warily spoke into the device, just as Zim wanted him to. “What are you up to? What is that _thing_ doing in the center of town?” He asked. 

Zim pulled the device back and listened as it repeated Dib’s words back to him in Irken. He snickered. “Oh? Whatever do you mean?” The device spoke back. Although the device spoke emotionlessly, Dib could hear the sarcasm dripping from Zim’s words. 

“Oh shut up!” Dib snapped. “You know what I’m talking about! The bomb!”

“Ooooh, that silly thing? Don’t worry! It’s just going to explode and take the whole town with it, is all.” Zim’s smile curled into something sinister as Dib’s eyes widened when the device translated his words to English. 

“WHAT?!” Dib gasped, too concerned to even wait long enough to speak into translator. “Why are you doing this?!” 

“There is a way to stop it though. I can tell you, if you want.” Zim continued, unconcerned with what Dib was yelling. 

“Just tell me already!”

“Notice how it’s repeating a message in Irken? Something tells me that If someone were to translate that message and enter the secret code into the keypad at the base of the bomb within 30 days, it would deactivate.” 

After the translator pumped out Zim’s message, Dib found himself grinding his teeth in anger. So that was his plan, huh?

“Fine. Teach me!” Dib spoke into the translator. 

Zim played the message back in Irken and smiled. “No, I don’t think I will.” He responded.

Dib had had enough. “What do you want from me?!” He screamed as he threw his hands up in resignation. “Do you want me to say sorry?! Well, fine! I’m sorry!”

Zim’s expression suddenly turned cold. He growled and responded in Irken. Then, as the device began to translate his words to English, he stepped forward and shoved Dib. “No, I want you to suffer! This is all your fault in the first place!” It said. 

After catching himself from being shoved, Dib looked at Zim angrily. “How was I supposed to know you’d break so easily?!”

As the device translated what Dib said into Irken, Zim drew in a quick breath. “How DARE you!” He gasped. His shocked quickly turned into seething rage as he continued to yell. “Zim is NOT broken!”

“Ugh! Whatever!” Dib snapped in frustration. “I don’t need you! I’ll figure out what that thing is saying and stop you myself!” 

Before Zim had a chance to respond, Dib quickly turned around and fled the scene. If Zim wouldn’t help, he would go analyze that bomb himself. 

Zim watched as Dib ran away. His mouth formed a thin straight line as he stood slack in the doorway, fist clenching his translation device so hard it could break.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Thank you for joining me in yet another chapter! I really appreciate you sticking with me for this long!
> 
> After the last chapter, I knew it was going to be hard for Zim to forgive Dib. So a friend and I spent a long time brainstorming what Zim would do for revenge. I like this idea, as it makes Dib feel just as helpless as Zim does when it comes to translating. Hopefully this will help them see eye to eye :3 hmmmm I wonder...
> 
> Unfortunately, I do have some bad news. It has been increasingly hard to keep up with my posting schedule of one chapter a week. Therefore, I am going to be lengthening my posting schedule to once every other Friday, or twice a month. I hope you understand!!
> 
> That being said, I would really appreciate hearing your thoughts on this chapter!! I can't even begin to explain how much your reviews motivate me to write more!!
> 
> EDIT: I made fanart for my own fic. Someone has to do it!! You can find it here on my tumblr - [ click here for fanart](https://dizplicity.tumblr.com/post/624554449709547520/language-barriers-chapter-5-dizplicity)


	6. Chapter 6

Two days later, Dib sat huddled over his computer desk at home, reviewing the foreign words for what felt like the millionth time. His forehead was resting in the palm of his left hand, which was supported by his arm on the desk, and his elbow stung from the pressure of it all. Not to mention, having been sitting in the same position for hours on end, his neck and back ached like hell. 

Dib unconsciously slid his hand through his hair as he thought of the events that led up to this. After he had rushed away from Zim’s base the other day, he immediately went to the center of town see the bomb in person. Despite having seen it on TV just an hour prior, he had been surprised at the mere size of the thing. However, he was able to suppress his surprise as he fought through the thick crowd to get close enough to hear what the weapon was repeating. Of course, just as Zim had told him, the bomb had been repeating a sentence in Irken. He had been able to take a recording of the sentence, and has been trying to decode it ever since. 

Back then he had been so sure he would be able to decode it. It was only one sentence, after all. 

Now though, after two days of nonstop research and analysis, he could confidently say he has gotten absolutely _nowhere_. No matter how many times he listened to the words, they meant nothing. Not even writing the sounds in English then trying to convert it to Irken would work because he had no idea how to translate spoken Irken. 

Exasperated, he groaned and laid his head in his arms on top of his hastily scattered research papers. Then, lazily opening one eye, he glanced at the clock. It was 2:00 in the morning on Monday. That meant, if Zim were to be trusted, there were 28 days left until the bomb exploded and took the entire town with it. 

His hands tightened into fists as he thought of the horrible destruction Zim was planning to bring. No, he couldn’t waste any time with sleep. He had to work harder, be better, in order to keep his town and family safe. 

Lifting his head, he picked up his pencil with a new determination. Despite the bags under his eyes and the soreness of his back, he would crack this code. He just needed to find the missing piece that connected the Irken language to English. Yeah, translation was easy! 

Writing with one hand and scrolling on the computer with the other, Dib continued to work in his dark room, illuminated only by a single lamp above his desk, until the sun began to rise.

* * *

On the other side of town, Zim sat in the lower levels of his base, equally as frustrated as the human. He had been making progress with his audio-input translation device, but it was just a temporary solution and nothing compared to the power of the universal translator in his PAK. With the device he had created, there was a wait time, a lag. One had to speak into the device, wait while it translated their words, then start the process all over again in the event that anyone else wanted to talk. It wasn’t like the PAK. The PAK was instantaneous and worked by scanning brain-wave frequencies. He needed that back if he wanted to keep any semblance of hope of blending in with the humans. 

Unfortunately, Zim wasn’t a PAK technician. Despite his frequent job changes, he had never even dabbled with the field. The only times he had messed with a PAK before were when his own needed small repairs. Fixing dents and scratches, for instance. In fact, the most complicated repair he had ever performed on his PAK was simply fixing the ventilator when it overheated once. Nothing to do with coding or the internal workings of the thing. 

Suffice to say, he was out of his element. Irkens technically weren’t even supposed to perform maintenance on their own PAK due to complications with the life clock. Laws were even put in place to prevent the act. However, Zim had never been one for technicalities, and if he was known for anything, it was his ability to never give up. He kept going no matter what was thrown at him, or how many hurdles he had to overcome. Of course, that was just what someone like him in a society like Irk’s had to do to survive. So he would continue to work on a solution to his unique problem, knowing that If he couldn’t figure something out he was better off dead. 

At the current moment, he was scrolling through the human’s archaic _internet_ to perfect his hand-crafted translator. It needed authentic human language samples to use for output, and he believed this would be the best place to find them. However, although he wouldn’t admit it, he was not all that well acquainted with the human’s cyber information network and was therefore in a bit over his head. 

“Computer, what is this... _‘YOU TUBE’_ , and why does it require me to become red??” Zim questioned without taking his eyes off the screen. He was already more than frustrated. 

The computer sighed dramatically. “I already told you, It appears to be a video sharing site that-“

“I know _that_!” 

“Then why did you-“

“Oh, show me that one! That one looks cool!” Zim demanded, question forgotten, as he pointed to a video with a purple and pink neon thumbnail. 

“Uhhh, okay?” The computer was once again amazed with the amount of patience it took just to talk with its master. 

After a second of loading, the video began to play, filling the room with loud electronic human music. Zim yelped in surprise and grabbed his antennae, desperate to make the wretched noise go away. 

“Computer! Pause video! Pause video!” He yelled. 

The video paused, taking the horrible excuse for music with it. On the screen, stopped mid verse, was an animated looking girl, wearing her hair in ridiculously long blue pigtails and holding a microphone. He scowled and vowed to hunt down this human and end her if he ever heard her wretched screeching again. 

Taking his eyes off his newly declared nemesis, he looked to the side of the video and saw what appeared to be more recommended videos. “Computer, play that one.” He demanded, pointing to a safer looking video with a thumbnail that showed two humans sitting at a table, facing front like some sort of news cast. There shouldn’t be any dreadful music in this video, right? 

As expected, the video began to play without any loud or offensive music. That was a good start. However, Zim squinted his eyes as he realized something quite strange. These human words sounded nothing like the ones he was used to! The intonation in which these words were spoken was completely different, much more flat than the ones the Dib spoke. Plus, compared to the long and drawn out sounds he was used to with the human language, these people spoke with a short and sharp accent, much more similar to Irken speech patterns. 

Perhaps these two were not human? No, that wasn’t possible. This was the human internet and, as far as Zim knew, humans didn’t yet know of the existence of other alien races. 

Another human language then? How was that possible?! And why?! Why did humans feel the need to complicate everything?! One language would work just fine, they didn’t need _two_!

Just as Zim was about to loudly voice his displeasure at the revelation, the computer cut him off by abruptly pausing the video. “Sir? There’s someone at the door again.” It said. 

Normally, Zim would be displeased at being interrupted in the middle of research, but he was expecting this. His smile curled into something sinister and he placed his hands together like an insect ready to feast. “I knew that _filthy_ human wouldn’t be gone for long. Give me visual!” He said. 

The screen that had been playing human videos just moments before fizzled out, only to reappear seconds later with an image of his front lawn. As expected, Dib was at the door yet again. The difference this time was that he was silently holding a large sign above his head. On the sign was hastily written Irken letters, which read, ‘Truce to make I want.’

“Ha!” Zim laughed in amusement, both at the crudely written Irken and the pitiful expression on Dib’s face. “The pathetic human worm baby comes crawling back to his future overlord JUST as Zim planned! I suppose I might as well go up to indulge him, wouldn’t you say, computer?”

“Uh, sure. I guess.”

Zim quickly made his way to the elevator, imagining with childlike glee all the ways he could rub his victory in his enemy’s face. Oh, how sweet it was to be Zim. He hadn’t doubted for even a second that he would find a way to get his revenge. 

Emerging from the trash can and scurrying through the living room, Zim took a moment to collect himself before opening the door. He pat his uniform down and cleared his throat. Then, standing proudly with his shoulder squared and one arm behind his back, he swung open the door. 

“Hello, _Dib_. How is your self proclaimed translation project going? Make any progress yet?” He asked mockingly into his translator. 

Dib huffed and narrowed his eyes. “I can’t do it.” He gritted out, almost as if it physically hurt him to say.

“Oh, what was that?” Zim said in feigned surprise. “You mean your smelly, horrible, inferior human brain can’t comprehend the complexities of the Irken language? Not even a simple sentence?!”

Dib groaned. Watching Zim’s delight as he spoke into the translator was almost enough to make him turn back. Almost. “Zim, cut the crap. Do you want to make a truce or not?” He asked. 

“Sorry, human, but Zim doesn’t quite understand. Could you perhaps be a bit more clear?” Zim asked with a tilt of his head. “Are you saying that I, the mighty ZIM, was right all along? And that you were smelly, wrong, and stupid?” 

After listening to Zim’s words translated into English Dib gritted his teeth. “Yes. _Zim_. You were right. I need your help. But don’t act like you don’t need mine too!” He yelled.

Zim narrowed his eyes. “Fine. A truce then. But do not get used to it, human. Because once we sort all of this out we will never speak of it again!” Zim said as a held out his hand. 

Dib took Zim’s hand and shook it in a symbol of peace. 

“Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did it, folks. I found a way to get Hatsune Miku into my Zim fic lmao
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter and are looking forward to the upcoming ~truce~! I'm thinking this will have a total of 8 chapters, but I'm not completely sure yet.
> 
> As always, If you noticed any mistakes let me know so I can fix them! I'd also love to know what you are thinking about the way the plot is going ^.^ Thank you for sticking with me!


	7. Chapter 7

“I’ve got it!” 

Zim grinned triumphantly as he looked down at his PAK on the work bench. It had only been a couple weeks since he and the Dib had made their truce, yet he was already making an astounding amount of progress with his PAK. Not only had he discovered the source of the error, but he was also almost sure he had just discovered the proper way to correct it. It would still take some time to create a proper program, of course, but this was a step in the right direction. Things were finally starting to look up for him. 

“What ‘chu got?” Gir questioned the prior exclamation with a tilt to his head. 

Zim turned towards his robot, allowing his PAK to reattach itself to his back in the process. “ _IT_ , Gir! I’ve got _IT_! After WEEKS of nonstop diligent research I’ve FINALLY discovered a means to fix my beloved PAK!” Zim shouted towards his servant in excitement. “I AM GENIUS!”

“Ooooooooh!” Gir marveled, looking up at his master with wide eyes in awe. Then, with another curious tilt to his head, he added, “‘Dat a good thing?” 

Zim sighed. “Of COURSE that’s a good thing, Gir. I’ll be able to return to blending in perfectly with the humans! No more of this wretched language barrier! Our mission will resume!” 

“Yaaaaay!” Gir clapped, finally understanding the situation. However, just as quickly as his joy appeared, it vanished and was replaced by panic. “I-I gotta make a cake! CAKE! A CAKE” The robot screamed in terror as it ran towards the elevator. 

Zim chuckled and shook his head in affection. Gir always did try his best. 

Turning towards the computer, he began to record his new findings on the touch screen. He typed for a few minutes, making note of his discoveries and crossing out false theories. Just as he was about to finish, he was interrupted by a ring of the doorbell. His antenna perked up at the noise and he looked towards the clock to his side. Usually, Zim would be cross by an interruption, but this time he smiled. Right on time. 

“Computer! Allow our guest entrance!” Zim commanded as he finished writing out his last sentence. 

“The guest has been granted entrance!” The computer shot back. 

At that, Zim entered the elevator and began to prepare the words in his head for the upcoming conversation as it lifted him towards the first floor of the base.

* * *

“Hello, Dib-stink!” Zim shouted excitedly before he had even fully climbed out of the trash can. Lately, he was always happy to show off his new skills in English, which was apparently what the humans called their language, according to Dib. 

“Hi, Zim.” Dib responded with a wave. He was already seated comfortably on the couch, awaiting Zim’s arrival. “How are you?” He asked, making sure to enunciate his words. 

“I am good! I am Zim!” Zim responded confidently, now fully out of the trash can and walking over to meet Dib on the couch. “How is Dib?” 

“I’m fine. So, uh, what did you do today?” 

Zim frowned at the slightly longer sentence, but wasn’t ready to back down. “Today... Zim, I, work- no, WORKED- on the PAK.”

“ _my_ PAK” Dib corrected. Zim had trouble with possessive words and pronouns since the Irken language did not have many, as Dib had come to learn. 

“Uh, no?” Zim said, almost offended. “Not the Dib PAK. The Zim PAK. Duh.” 

“No, I meant- uh... nevermind. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but you’re learning really quickly! A week ago you could hardly say ‘hello’.”

Zim paused for a few seconds as he processed the words. Then, as he realized the main point of what Dib was trying to get across, his antenna perked at the praise and he puffed out his chest confidently. “Of _COURSE_ Zim learns quick! Because I am Zim!” Then he grinned, and Dib already regretted handing out the praise. “Dib is SUCKS at Irken though. Practice now.”

“Ugh, I _don’t_ suck. It’s just hard, you jerk.”

Zim snickered as he sat down. Knowing he was better at English than Dib was at Irken made him feel even more superior than he already did. Plus, it worked out better that way for him, since it meant Dib wouldn’t be able to figure out what his bomb was repeating until he wanted him to. 

“Yesterday we talk... talked... Irken present tense.” Zim began his lesson. “Today! Formal tense.” 

“Formal? English doesn’t have a formal tense.” Dib pointed out as he took out his pad to take notes. 

“Yes, because humans is like pigs.” Zim stated mater-of-factly with a disgusted look on his face. Dib rolled his eyes. “Irkens speak to tallers with... uh.. with? Formal? Ness?” 

“Respect?” Dib guessed. 

“Yes! Respect!” Zim repeated as if it had been on the tip of his tongue. “Zim knew that.”

“Yeah, sure you did.” 

Ignoring Dib’s comment, Zim went on with his lesson. “Zim is Dib’s taller! You use formal tense to Zim!” He said, pointing at Dib to emphasize his point. 

“What?!” Dib blurted, slightly offended. “We’re the same height! Not that it really matters, but-“ 

“Quiet!! Dib is human, so it does _not_ matter. Human is inferior.”

Dib groaned. “That’s not fair!”

“Fair...?” Zim asked with a confused look. “Circus?”

“No, it’s- ugh, nevermind! This is stupid! Teach me _this_ word!” Dib pulled out a paper from his notebook and shoved it in Zim’s face. On the paper was a word written in Irken that he had copied from the phrase the bomb was repeating. “There’s only 10 days left until that thing explodes and I still don’t know this word!” 

Zim looked at the paper with a less than amused look on his face. Sighing, he snatched it from Dib’s hand and crumpled it up. “No. Not now.” He stated as he tossed the crumpled paper behind himself. 

“Hey!” Dib protested, quickly standing to retrieve the paper. “Don’t just throw it away!” 

Dib rushed over to where the paper had landed and crouched down to pick it up. As he smoothed out the ruined paper and looked over it’s contents he sighed and hung his head in disappointment. “This is way harder than it was to learn English.” He muttered under his breath. 

However, Zim’s hearing was far better than that of a human’s. His antenna twitched as he picked up the sentence. “Of course it is harder.” He responded. “Dib was born with English.” 

Dib laughed slightly as he returned to his spot on the couch. “Well, actually, no. English is my second language. I learned Spanish first, then I had to pick up English when we moved to America. I was pretty young though, so I don’t have an accent or anything, unlike you.” He said, nonchalantly.

“EH?!” Zim shouted in surprise as he jumped up to stand on the couch and point at Dib in horror. “I _KNEW_ THERE IS A SECOND HUMAN LANGUAGE” he shrieked. 

Dib, caught off guard by Zim’s extreme reaction, flinched backwards and sputtered. “Uh? Yeah? There’s like hundreds!” 

“HUNDREDS?!” Zim exclaimed, even more distraught than before. “WHAT IS THE NEED?” 

“Uh... it just? Happened that way?” Dib tried to explain it simply. He had already kind of assumed there was only one Irken language since it was named after their race and all, but he had never thought about what that meant for Zim and how he thought Earth’s languages worked. 

“YOU LIE! You try to confuse Zim!” The alien insisted, pointing an accusing finger at Dib. 

“I’m not lying!” Dib shouted, getting frustrated. Then, to prove his point, he added, “¡Eres un extraterrestre estúpido y te expondré para volverme famoso!”

“E-Eh?!” Zim sputtered as he tried to wrap his head around what he was hearing. It sounded even more like gibberish to him than the human words he was used to. 

“That’s Spanish!” Dib said. “One of the _many_ languages on Earth. They speak it where I was born.” 

Zim became silent and his antenna drooped as he thought about the implications of what Dib was saying. He was learning English, sure, but if there really were hundreds of languages on Earth, then did it even really matter? He would never be able to learn all these different tongues. What kind of supreme overlord couldn’t even communicate with their slaves? 

Zim slumped back down on the couch and put his head in his hands. All the while, Dib watched him, confused. 

“Uh, Zim? You okay?” He asked, not quite worried, but slightly weirded out at the odd behavior from his worst enemy. 

Zim muttered something in Irken, his voice muffled by his hands. Dib wouldn’t have understood him even if his voice was clear though. His Irken vocabulary was still extremely limited.

“Huh? What was that?” Dib pried. The last thing he wanted was to deal with a shmoopy Zim again. It was already too weird the first time. 

“I said IMPOSSIBLE!” Zim repeated in English, raising his head from his hands and looking towards Dib. His eyes were glossier than usual. “There is _too many_! English, _Spanish_ , Vortian, Meekrobian, slaughtering rat! How will Zim learn all?!” 

Dib was taken aback. It wasn’t often he saw his enemy like this, but it made sense. Zim had never had to think of language like this before. To him, there was only ever one language that everyone in the universe spoke, until it was suddenly ripped away. It must have been overwhelming. 

“Hey, you’re fixing your PAK, right?” Dib awkwardly attempted to comfort his enemy. “It should be fine then.” 

“The PAK is... compli- complex. What if it... never is fix?!”

Dib sighed. Zim was right. It wasn’t a certainty that he would be able to fix it. Dib supposed that that would be a really good thing for him, since it would leave Zim at a disadvantage, but... he couldn’t help but feel a little bad for the guy. He was stuck somewhere he couldn’t easily communicate with anyone. Not to mention, he was probably the only Irken right now without a universal translator. 

Wait, that gave Dib an idea.

“Hey, Zim? I know it sucks that your PAK is all messed up, but.. you’re probably the only bilingual Irken in existence! That’s pretty cool.” 

Zim’s eyes widened. He hadn’t thought about it like that. “Yes... Zim _is_.” He smiled and sat up a little straighter. “Heh! Zim is the _only_ Irken who is smart to learn the second language!”

Returning to his usual self, Zim stood up and began boasting about his greatness. Gir, who has been busy making a cake in the kitchen this whole time, joined Zim in his cheering and threw batter like confetti all over the room. Dib laughed and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. As long as Zim was out of his shmoop, he supposed he was happy too. 

Suddenly, Zim turned around and looked towards Dib, his previous enthusiasm forgotten. “Human, I... your words have! Done a, uh... great service! To Zim!” He declared, stumbling over his words. 

Dib cocked his head to the side. “Are you trying to say... thank you?!” He gasped, half shocked and half amused by Zim’s attempt.

Zim’s eyes widened and his cheeks turned a weird shade of blue, but he turned around and hid his face before Dib could comment on it. 

“LET US CONTINUE THE IRKEN LESSON!” Zim shouted. “As I said, Zim is your taller! You use formal words!” 

As Zim went on and on with his lesson, Dib couldn’t help but feel a bit closer to the stupid bug than he had before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhhh this is such a dialogue heavy chapter but I hope it's readable! I'm also really sorry that it was a week late! I'll try not to be late again akdjfnadjkhfa
> 
> Also, I'm not completely sure, but I think the next chapter may be the last! This has been a really great journey and learning experience for me and I want to thank you for sticking with me through it! Please let me know what you think of this chapter and the fic overall!! 
> 
> Oh, and if you don't already follow me on tumblr, please consider it! I just post a lot of fandom things that I like and sometimes I will post about updates and progress for this fic https://dizplicity.tumblr.com/ :)


	8. Chapter 8

Dib hummed a cheerful tune to himself as he walked past the giant gnomes in Zim’s front lawn. Having been thwarted by those things one too many times in the past, they used to terrify him. They had always been the one deadly barrier between himself and his enemy’s secret base. Plus, he had never known when one might decide to activate. Even after their truce had started, Dib had spent the first week trying to sneak his way past them out of habit before knocking on the door.

However, he now paid them no mind as he walked peacefully past them and towards Zim’s front door. Somehow, he knew that they no longer recognized him as a threat, so after that first week, he became comfortable enough to try walking in their line of sight. He only hoped this kind treatment would continue after their truce came to an end.

As he approached the door, the thought of knocking didn’t even cross his mind. He turned the door knob to the right, pushed it open, and peaked his head through the crack. “Zim! I’m here!” He called out, familiarly.

Clearly caught off guard, Zim’s antennae popped up and his eyes widened in surprise from his spot on the couch. “Dib-human!!” Zim shouted as he turned his head towards his visitor. “You’re early!”

Dib walked the rest of the way in and shut the door behind himself. “Well, I didn’t have anything else to do, so-“

Before he could even finish his sentence, Zim jumped off the couch and struck a dramatic pose. “Behold!” He shouted. “My universal translator has returned to functioning at 100% capacity! It is, perhaps, even better than it at once was! Because I, THE MIGHTY ZIM, have fixed it! PRAISE ME!”

The first thing Dib noticed was that Zim’s accent had completely vanished. It took another few seconds for what Zim had actually said to sink in.

“...Oh.” Dib said, simply. He wasn’t sure what else to say.

“Oh?” Zim returned, dropping his dramatic stance in favor of a more put off one. “Are you not amazed by Zim’s technological competence?”

“Wha- no, that’s not it. I just, um...” Dib struggled to come up with the words. He had grown so used to their new routine that he had almost forgot about the possibility of Zim actually fixing his translator. “I’m just surprised, is all.” He decided.

Zim huffed. “Surprised?! Did you _doubt_ I could accomplish a feat so simple?”

Dib, over his initial surprise at hearing the alien talk normally again, scoffed. “Simple, Huh? Is that why it took you a whole month to do it?” He teased, provoking an indignant gasp from the other.

“Wha-! Why you!” Zim stuttered, pointing an accusing finger at the human. “I’ll have you know that I accomplished in a month what would have taken a skilled Irken engineer years!” He left out the part about how an Irken engineer wouldn’t have even tried to fix the PAK, in favor of simply deleting it.

“Yeah, sure.” Dib said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. Then, frowning, he added, “So... what? Doesn’t that mean all that time I spent teaching you English is useless now?”

Dib expected Zim to laugh, say yes, and mock Earth’s languages. What he didn’t expect was for the other to put a hand to his chin in thought and actually consider his question.

“No, I wouldn’t quite say that.” The Irken pondered, looking towards the ground. “On the contrary, learning your _English_ was a great contribution towards my overall goal of repairing my PAK. Once I came to recognize the patterns embedded in your inferior language, as well as the differences and similarities between it and my own, I was able to translate the coding language of my original universal translator with ease. I then created and inserted a new, much cooler, program in its place!”

“Huh.” Dib considered. “I guess that makes sense.”

“ALSO!” Zim shrieked suddenly, causing Dib to jump. At the same time, a claw came out of the Irken’s PAK and placed a small flash drive into his hand. It almost resembled a USB chip. “Zim now can, eh, manually dis- disab... turn off! the universal translator.” He said with a nod.

Dib’s eyes widened. True to Zim’s claim, his accent was back and he returned to struggling with his word order. But why would he...?

Zim coughed awkwardly and returned the chip to its rightful place in his PAK. “If I am to one day rule this dirt planet, then I must come to fully understand its weaknesses in the form of its history, people, and culture. That is the true way of an Irken invader! I, Zim, being the best Irken invader alive, aim to fully understand its language as well.” He raised his ruby eyes to look up at the human fully. “It seems our lessons must continue.” He said, with a smile.

Dib grinned back at the invader. Now he understood. It appeared neither of them wanted their truce to come to an end. “Yeah, well don’t think I’ve given up on learning Irken! I still need to put a stop to your empire!” He shot back.

“Very well, human. I accept your challenge.”

A moment passed where both boys simply smiled at each other, neither willing to admit to their new found friendship, but knowing that the other felt the same. It was so starkly different than it was only a month before, when neither of them could even be in the same room without screaming or trying to kill the other.

Then, Dib suddenly remembered something.

“Wait a minute!” He said, breaking the moment of peace. “What about the bomb?!”

Zim, taken by surprise, cocked an eyebrow. “Huh? What bomb?” He questioned.

Dib gawked at the other. “You know! The bomb! The one you decided to put in the center of town to force me to help you?! That I have to translate a code for or else it’ll destroy the whole city?! It’s supposed to go off tomorrow and I still don’t know one of the words!”

“Ooooooh _that_ bomb!” Zim recalled with a chuckle, as if he really had forgotten the whole thing. “If I recall correctly, the word you kept repeatedly asking me to translate for you is “

“Wait, what?” Dib asked, confused. “What’s a I still don’t understand what that means!”

“Oh? That’s odd...” Zim said, frowning. “The universal translator must be unable to find a singular word in your _filthy_ language to translate it as. In other words, there is no direct translation.” Zim speculated.

“Ugh, then paraphrase it or something!” Dib groaned. Having been stuck on this word for over a week, he was more than frustrated, and rightfully so. If there was no direct translation in the first place, then no wonder he was unable to figure it out!

Zim considered this. “Hmm... If I were to put it into simpler terms, then I would say that it means... to admit to a defeat so incredible that you cannot show your face in public anymore!” He said, matter-of-factly. “Did your stupid brain comprehend that?”

Ignoring the insult, Dib quickly pulled out his notepad and flipped through the pages until he found the one he was looking for. “Then that means the phrase the bomb was repeating is... ‘The code to disarm me is to admit to a defeat so incredible that you cannot show you face in public anymore’?!” He read straight from his notes in disbelief. “Are you kidding me??”

“I assure you, earth-create, Zim does not kid!” Zim replied. “Quite impressive, eh? Only I could create such an incredible and very specific weapon!”

“Ugh, do I have to? Like, you didn’t really defeat me, did you? It was more of a mutual thing... I think.”

“I didn’t realize you were so eager to allow your dirty city to be destroyed.” Zim said, mockingly. “Oh well, it was nice knowing you, I guess. But not really!” He shrugged his shoulders and coyly turned away from the other, preparing to return to the lower levels of his base.

Dib quickly thought over his options, a pained expression on his face. “Nnnnnngh- wait!” He called, causing the other to turn around.

“I’m waiting!” Zim said cheerfully. The cocky bastard.

“Fine.” Dib gritted out. “I admit to , or whatever. You win.”

“Huh? I didn’t quite get that! One more time?” Zim pushed, sing-song voice only agitating Dib further.

“I _really_ hate you, you know that right?”

Zim sighed. “Fine, fine. It’s good enough, I _suppose_.”

As he spoke, an arm emerged from his PAK and dropped a device into his hand. It looked like some sort of remote controller out of a cartoon. To top off the look, it had a big red button on its center and an antenna sticking out the top.

“Welp, here I go!” Zim said cheerfully as he pressed the button.

“NO, WAIT!” Dib cried out in protest, desperately reaching for the device. The button looked like a detonator of sorts, and he wouldn’t put it past Zim to accidentally blow up a city like it was nothing. However, a few seconds passed by without the sound of a giant boom, so Dib opened his eyes, which had been squeezed shut since Zim carelessly pressed the button.

“W-what happened?” Dib chocked out.

Suddenly, he heard a theme song begin to play from Zim’s television, signaling the beginning of an urgent news broadcast. He looked towards the TV and began to listen.

“Breaking news!” Said the anchorman. “The large bomb that has been threatening our city for just under a month now has suddenly and inexplicably disappeared!” Dibs jaw dropped open as the anchorman continued. “Unfortunately, the new found religion dedicated to worshiping the bomb now has _nothing_ to worship! More on this at 6.” And the TV flashed off.

“Um... what just happened?” Dib asked slowly.

“Oh, yeah, that thing? It was just a hologram this whole time.” Zim replied, casually brushing it off with a wave of his hand.

Dib felt a little piece of him die inside. “A... a hologram?” He whispered in disbelief. “Really.”

“Well, DUH.” Zim said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “If I had the time to build a weapon like that, I would have just destroyed the city a long time ago, fool boy! You humans won’t touch anything as long as it has police tape surrounding it.”

Dib couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He had spent an entire month panicking and researching, trying to save the city, and it had all been for nothing. “I... I hate you.” He reminded the other as he turned around and began to walk towards the door. “I’m leaving.”

Just as he was about the open the door and leave, Zim called out to stop him. “Wait a second! That’s not all!” He called, stopping Dib in his tracks.

He turned around. “Really?! There’s _more_?!” Dib cried, internally begging for an end to his misery.

However, his expression quickly shifted from misery to surprise as Zim

Shoved something towards his face. He flinched back, but when nothing happened, he opened his eyes to see what appeared to be a small gift box. It was about the size of a jewelry case, wrapped in purple paper and held together by a bright pink bow.

“Uhhh..?” Dib looked up at Zim with a questioning gaze. The invader looked away.

“Take it.” He said sternly.

“What is it? It’s not going to kill me, right?” Somehow, he doubted that, but he had to make sure.

Zim groaned. “I was under the impression that humans wrapped things like this to _keep_ them a surprise. If you don’t want it I’ll-“

“No, no!” Dib cut him off, taking the small gift from his hand. “Calm down. I was just surprised is all.”

As he carefully pulled at the ribbon, he caught Zim sneaking a glance his way. He was obviously excited to see Dib’s reaction, but the boy decided not to mention it. Once fully opened, Dib saw that Inside the perfectly wrapped package was a bracelet that had a similar pattern to Zim’s PAK. It looked mechanical too.

He picked up the bracelet and looked at it closer. “What is this?” He asked.

Zim cleared his throat. “If you _must_ know, it is a universal translator of your own. I was able to tweak the program in such a way that it now operates in your own native language. I know, I know. Impressive, right? You may praise me now.” He said, nonchalantly.

Dib’s eyes widened at Zim’s explanation. “Zim, I- that’s-“ he stuttered out, taken aback by what this meant for him. “That’s amazing! Thank you!”

“Heh. Yes, well. You’re going to need it if you want even a semblance of hope at exploring the depths of space.” Then, looking away again with a slight bluish tint to his cheeks, he added, “Y’know, speaking of that, I was /planning/ on making a trip down to planet Fortitudia to make a trade. They also have edible dirt there... It’s _pretty_ neat, I guess... do you, eh, want to come?”

Dib’s eyes practically had stars in them, he was so excited. “Are you crazy?! Of course I do! I could almost hug you right now!”

“Please refrain.” Zim said quickly, backing away. “I want _nothing_ to do with your earth-cooties, human!”

Rather than being insulted, Dib felt himself laugh at Zim’s antics. Of course he still believed in cooties.

“Yeah, well, see you around, then.” Dib waved.

“Yes. Be gone, child.” Zim replied, waving back.

A month ago, Zim’s entire mission was compromised because of a single glitch in his coding. At the time, it seemed like the worst thing that could have possibly happened to him. Being completely and forcefully immersed into a language he knew nothing about, and having nobody to ask for help but a mortal enemy. It was a seemingly hopeless situation. Impossible, even. So, If somebody had come to him and told him that any semblance of good would come out of it, he would have told them they had the brain worms without a second thought.

But now, as he watched Dib walk away, admiring his new present, he couldn’t help but smile. It seemed that it was possible for something good to come from a bad situation, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's over! I can't believe it! ZADF overload!!
> 
> I'm simultaneously so sad and so happy that this fic has reached its ending. When I posted that first chapter, I absolutely did not expect all the kudos and attention this fic gained. I expected like 20 kudos max and was planning for this to only be 4 chapters long. It was honestly all the comments and support that led me to add a longer plot (the whole betrayal and bomb thing wasn't even originally planned!), so thank you so much for your help everyone!
> 
> As for future fics, I don't think I'm going to jump right into writing another multi chapter one, but you may see a couple iz one shots from me someday soon. I'm actually considering continuing this fic universe in some one shots (depends on whether or not I think of any more language headcanons worth writing), so be on the look out for that! I'm open to suggestions as well :) 
> 
> Thanks again everyone for your support throughout this journey! It wouldn't have been possible without your comments and love <3

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a kudos and comment!! I'd love to know what you think!


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